Have you ever thought about how much people know about you and how much of that you would prefer no one else knew because for example, it’s either an embarrassing illness, or a really bad habit or something you would prefer no one else knew about?
Well, your helper knows some things about you from something your child has said to them and in the future you could face a devastatingly embarrassing moment in front of unsuspecting guests. She is part of what I believe is the most personal part of a person, their home because of the closed doors. It could come to be that your nanny will soon air your dirty laundry for all to see, in case you don’t treat her well. Or she might bake you a cake and add her own excrement into the blend, just for a little bit of a fudge like texture feel to your credulous pallet. So, be nice.
Doctors, it’s a given. Yes there is “an oath” to secrecy. Which I believe they abide to. But just imagine the worms (or crabs) in this can! You know some of this can is embarrassing, but I have a feeling people don’t want others to know about their medical status’ (in any form) because people don’t want their weaknesses exposed for people to know and they don’t want to be reminded of it either.
Your Hair Dresser! And all the black girls solemnly nod in heartfelt agreement. You DO NOT wanna know what goes on under this weave sometimes! We don’t even wanna know ourselves! So please, no cameras allowed in here.
They might seem quiet, nonchalant, and idle when they walk around your complex, apartment block or estate, but honeys they know and they can piece things together. They may not have academic credit but definitely street credit. They know your schedule, they’ve figured out what number you live at, and your regular visits and patterns of behaviour. What’s more, security guards and helpers’ hangout together, you do the math. Again, be nice! ;)
Might I exhibit Tiger Woods and he’s grand unprincipled scheme that involved the most hardcore logistics so that he could be unfaithful to his wife! What’s the word for “A smart way of doing dumb things”? Anyhow! A few dollar bills went a long way in keeping this saucy secret, but he who under deals with you will underhand with another. The faithfulness of someone who primarily has his own interests at heart, will last as long as it is good for him.
The ultimate secret is that nothing can ever be completely concealed. If you think no one can see, think again. Because all is exposed on different levels and in different perspectives.
A few days ago, the African National Congress* graced former President Nelson Mandela a visit at his home through our current, President Jacob Zuma. The South African Broadcasting Commission aired the footage on National television. The video has stirred an emotional mixture in South Africa leaving an atmosphere of extreme vulnerability and prickly ground that needs a response instead of a reaction.
I think it was great to see Nelson Mandela because we got to see his current state of being. In my heart, I felt the word “wow” and a gentle exhale in realization of a man who has LIVED! The proof is in the grey hair, those deep and gentle eyes of consideration, honesty and wisdom. As much as it may irritate me when people go on and on about Nelson Mandela, he really and truly is a great example of a human being.
I admire his endurance and graceful spirit the most. I don’t think there is a fraction of comprehension about the level of resolution it takes for a person to decide that: He WILL go to prison for the rights of OTHERS, he WILL face fears that come before him and he is WILLING to die for that cause. Over and above 27 years that he spent in prison before the 1994 breakthrough democratic elections in South Africa, his resolution REMAINED. Apartheid was not a playground, it was a battle ground.
A person that can STAND FIRMLY in their decisions is the definition of a soldier. Compelled by something that is so much bigger than you. Mandela is 94 years old now, God has multiplied his years and his name is known throughout the land! That’s the reward for entering battle and never giving up on life and people. People need to acknowledge these good news instead of the fact that he is old and will die soon. Death is irrelevant for a human being that stands in his line of purpose, duty and a hunger to make a dream a reality. Death is not a dead body, death is a dead name. Death is when you leave nothing of yourself behind for others. Death is a choice.
I am re-inspired. It really is a waste of time and space to not live in your purpose. It is essential to find it, otherwise you will die. Be ready to feel the burn of strain and tiredness, grenades of words that discourage, negative sulfur in the air and bombs of failure. But be ready to feel the indescribable but always imagined dream become a reality and a name that will transcend time.
Respond to life!
The thing that you struggle with the most, the thing that frustrates you the most, and the thing that you can never seem to get right, is the same thing. On the surface of the situation, it may not look like the same thing, but the root is the same thing. This may come as a surprise to you but you suffer a degree of compulsive obsessive disorder. This means that you are dysfunctionally fanatical and dedicated- only to end up achieving the opposite of what you really want to accomplish- typical isn’t it?
I must say, writing this article is also quiet frustrating because this is something I recognize in myself almost every single minute of the day. I recognize it, but carry on in this very vindictive trap of stress & at the end of the day have gained more stress than the weight I’m trying to shred or have lost more time in my efforts to be more organized because I’m focused on watching the time I’m losing! Constantly trying to be more this, be more that, be less this, be less that… oooh maybe I should… urrrghhh… honestly, no wonder we are so tired all the time! Most of the time, it’s not because we want to do it for ourselves, it’s because there is an external influence or comparison that has taken place- which has made us feeling unexceptional & poor when actually- we are just fine but insist on giving ourselves a thrashing for not being the prototype human being. Above trying to improve what you perceive to be your weak points, the better thing to do is to not make that aspect the focus. If you make it your focus, it will overrule your valuables & master your entire being.
It’s generally accepted common sense to object to wars of the worlds, wars on woman’s bodies, children, slaves and Gaza strips because we have seen evidence of destruction, lost souls, and complications. Yet, you willfully declare war on yourself by yourself; blow by blow. Physical damage of war is nothing compared to what you do not see or tend to. The Longest war to exist actually, is the war within. You cannot run away from it or become a spiritual refugee in someone else’s body.
I don’t think we can prevent it, We are born with a good and bad side. The one that will grow is the one you choose to feed. And what you feed and how you feed is the same thing.
One of the best ways to foster balance in your life is to be calm. Stress is tension = not good = bad . Let stillness and harmony be your rudder in life.
So it is irritating when people classify certain activities and trends according to cultural groups, more specifically and generally: race groups. “Oh it’s a black thing” „, or “Psssh, only white people do that!” Some things are just to suspicious when it’s not “normal” to do because you’re not white or black. Sometimes you do get the odd thing that is done in another culture or race group that you find amusing, and kind of makes you feel better about yourself because hey, “they also do it!”
Honestly, Camping is NOT a black thing. And I’d like to suggest why. Let’s go back in time- slave trade- we’ve BEEN camping all our lives, why would we want to do it for fun?! The more modern day “black diamond” needs a toilet, clean refreshment facilities and being faar awaaaay from any animal out there (because all animals are trained to only bite black people?!) hahaha…! Speaking of which, cultural differences really come out during camping trips because there is communal living and we get to see how they do things on a day to day basis. It was so embarrassing in high school (for me at least) to find out, a brush I used for the front line of my hair, my (white) friend used it to clean her shoes! It made me very insecure, but today, I actually couldn’t care less. (That’s one of the best things about growing up, you care less about the little things).
When a black person sleeps with their dog….
I’m talking about a BIG dog here. I had a high school friend who slept with her dog. I found it so white and so funny. Genuinely though, don’t you think its Kinda gross to sleep with dogs & flees, and everything that comes with it? Even if it’s all in my mind, I’m sorry- dogs belong in the doggy house. Not in my bed. I mean we have people doing yoga with their dogs now -___- Hahaha, seriously?
Extreme dumb stuff…
This makes me think of shows like Jack Ass with Bam Magera, or the Crazy Monkeys and think: WHAT THE HELL are these white brothers doing? Why. On. Earth. Would one connect a gas mask to another’s face and fart in it?! What for? Or purposefully want to hurt your penis by seeing how long you can stretch it for by attaching it to a moving truck while your tied to a stationery pole?! Worst of all is how all of it is done on a VOLUNTARY BASIS! And sometimes quite dangerous- extreme sports can count too. This comedian remarked on how these white guys are willing to do all that, but going to the ghetto would be an absolute no-no due to the danger lurking in the streets. We are all weird, ultimately.
Sandwiches with the crust cut off…
And that’s not all. Neatly wrapped in wax paper (white people paper, as my friends and I would call it), complete with juice, some snacks and then mommy swings by again to drop off some extra lunch for your afterschool activity. Not black people! Sure we carry lunch, but can you maybe just not eat the crust if you don’t want it? Ain’t nobody got time for dat!
The article is a generalization of Note, but I’m so justified in doing this because I am so far from judging anyone for being who they want to be. This is just an observation, and it’s what makes living with each other so compatible. Differences are mainly for that, not for separation. We need a little bit of crazy in our lives.
How things have changed! Or have they? By how much?
Breaking news: ”Snookie tells us why she just can’t keep her red hair anymore! ”So true, so false? Kim Kardashian admits that being blonde is way more fun!” Serrrioooouusllly?! Yes my people. This is the world we live in. A change of hair colour makes the news. I don’t know what’s scarier; the fact that this is news worthy or that there is a market for this. What’s more? Was the market created or was this in demand and therefore catered to? This may be “different kind of news” but really, is it worthy? Why is there a care about who wore what? If Beyonce called us all female dogs and said we must bow down- which we practically already are, so why the outburst? There is worship over human beings- worship being an unhealthy level of admiration. Like it’s so lame, seriously, “oh my gad!” Now we’re chasing the Saturdays *yawn*
When we watch movies set in ancient empires, its sooo shocking how people are chanting and raving about how Prometheus must part Alexandre’s head from his body, or how the Christians must be taken to the lions and fed in front of all the Romans in the grand stand arena for believeing in an unseen God as opposed to multiple gods for every single area of our lives. Our eyes boggle out at such frantic frenzies and animalistic behaviour, but how different is it when there are sold out matches for wrestling and cage fighting (no matter how it maybe fake or a sport). There really needs to be some serious considerations in life about what we do and how we do it.
A part of me thinks that perhaps things that now exist that didn’t before did exist but were concealed for reasons, one of which may include degrees of normality and abnormality or fears of rejection. It makes sense. Things are more exposed now because of our technology and everything is multiplying because of tech speed.
Are we better off or worse off?
The examples above are few of many and one’s which I think are very rotten at the root: A pretense that everything is a “go-with-the-flow thing”, “just for fun” and that is delusional- and lurks in exposure too, because it means that false things tiptoe into your life as truth & steal your conscious. I may be sounding a bit sinister or extreme church groupie like but we really need to be careful of the things we let into our minds, ears, eyes and filter down into our hearts. Sometimes, life calls for extreme measures of sensibility to protect innocence because goodness is so few in this world but so strong that tit still has influence.
The saying, life is like a movie, also implies that movies depict life. There are twists and turns and as time goes by, the plot thickens, gels and it all comes to a finish.
Since becoming a frequent driver, I now have an enhanced experience of driving with some of the maddest folks that do things that just don’t make sense on the road. Taxi drivers are the obvious that come to mind and the ones we love to hate and actually bring out the best worst side of us, evoking road rage that would actually be very embarrassing to look at if we had replays. But dare I say it, we could actually learn quite a few things from taxi drivers.
The most obvious one for me is how they just don’t waste time! The selfish element of it should definitely be altered but I figure it is a built in mechanism that is almost born when your job is your survival and you know exactly how much it contributes to your life and living. Time is money! People that commute with taxi’s have better chances of being on time than the rest of us that stick to the rules and boundaries of traffic lines and lights. In addition to that, they definitely teach one to be vigilant because that taxi will stop at anytime, anywhere, while your just over 1 meter behind driving a solid 100km per hour- scary! Better yet, just don’t drive behind a taxi driver- strategy, another lesson!
They are actually good drivers. So wait, before you huff, puff and exhale off some disapproval steam! If one could put together some sort of Grand Prix, I reckon we would see some serious competition with a mix of professional taxi drivers and professional race drivers. Our taxi drivers have very good reflexes, I bet they love the thrill and most definitely have a need for speed.
I can relate. One has to wonder where the rage comes from. One of the most enlightening things I have come to realize is that people come with good and bad baggage, a soul, a mind and a body. All of that comprises a person. When one realizes this in themselves you realize that, it is the same case with those around you. Behaviour doesn’t just come about, it builds up, it is reinforced and it has a root. It doesn’t make it right, but better understanding gives a situation more serenity. Thus, the ultimate lesson a taxi driver can give one is the art of patience and understanding. It has to start somewhere and you cannot wait for others to start, you can’t wait on the world to change.
If someone told me two years ago that I will fall in such a deep passion for this city, I would’ve objected, with 100% certainty that would explicate itself through a laugh as outrageous as the statement. On the contrary experience of living here today, I can say with the most adorning spirit that I absolutely love the city of Sandton.
Just prancing about in Sandton City I am familiarized with shores of different countries through dialects, gestures, personal contact and observations. It’s really amazing how much you learn when you people watch and casually eavesdrop; both a favourite pass time. I’ve learnt to differentiate the between Spanish, Italian and Portuguese talk (all those with the dreamy men) with each sounding similar to the next on the introduction, as well as recognizing a Baltic and German Dialects- and most recently getting taste with the middle eastern languages. Speaking of taste…
I’m not even talking about the food. I get a taste of the world, and through that and my ever intensifying dreams, I get a taste of my future. This being the hub of corporate climbing young professionals and world leading (intimidating) business Guru’s, there is no better place to be immersed for inspiration, reality checks and wake up calls that set a flame to your own rear to make things happen! I saw a lady walk out of the Gaustation*, hair so feminine, face as well, wearing a figure hugging suit, blackmail stockings, no fancy heals and a handbag to complete the outfit, rather a backpack and trainers to complete the main personality profession of getting up to business. In my head I blew out a huge “thank you!!” to her because she was practical! I commend women who can run in heals and still look pretty- but let’s accept it ladies, things will happen faster without the heals. I wish I had taken a picture but I am still with a mental one, which serves as a reminder to get moving!
2 years experience of the city has in many ways made me think about and pay attention to my growth as a person. It’s a paradox of becoming more of an introvert to critically assess myself in every situation but also being appropriately outgoing. It’s called minding your own business, at the same time being aware of what is happening around you. It’s weird. On the down swing of it, being in a city with people that are extremely successful, influential or wealthy can really make you question yourself in doubt of your abilities and talents. It is very scary! Confidence is not a “good-to-have”, it is a “must-have”! I am human you know (just in case your’re wondering), I go through summer, autumn**, spring, summer and other seasonal relapses on my self-confidence: A rain on my parade. Then in the city that disrupts my shine, I will witness a rainbow of events that break apart the clouds that cover my spot light.
Life is not perfect. Life keeps coming, keeps happening but if you willfully allow it to come and happen, amazing things transpire.
“Freedom is mine, and I know how I feel! It’s a new dawn! It’s a new day! It’s a new life, for me! And i’m feeling…so good”
*underground railway and bus system, similar to subway
**seasonal change, commonly known as Fall in American speech
Aint nobody got time for dat!
This phrase made famous by a woman who woke up to get a popsicle in the middle of the night, only to wake up and find out, “Lord Jesus! it’s a fire!! “She recalls how her bronchitis wouldn’t be able to stand the fumes with the phrase: ain’t nobody got time for dat! So it got me thinking of a couple of things that one does not simply have time for. In the words of some English poet out there: Time is on its winged chariot! So, let’s see how we can save time; from time to time!
I learnt very fast in my first year of university that there is not time for rulers and correction pens! All that really matters is the information in your book. There is no time, like seriously. Who cares? I don’t even have time to explain, or the energy (they both go hand in hand).
I’m a girl, okay, so I know “getting ready” and finding the right outfit presents a challenge. So I don’t get this: When I am set to pick up a girlfriend for a night out, I get there, she’s not ready and I ask her: Why aren’t you ready? Then she: “Well, I take long to get ready.” “So get ready earlier MAYBE?! It’s really not rocket science.
Most people take HUGE pride in the ability to multitask. News time ladies: Multi-tasking is a sure way to take longer to do things because you are dividing your attention. I don’t care how good you think you are, it’s self-deception in hidden levels.
Wondering if you should study or not. Just study and get it over and done with. I know for sure that you won’t like spending an additional 6 months in the institution simply because you were wondering whether you should study or not right upto the eve of each exam. I guess that extended 6 months in the academic institution has left you wondering what you life would be like if things were different. Is there a point to that, really?
I cannot stress how important it is to not stress. This is an awkward paradox in the sense that in a time of an emergent urgency, it feels like you need to do things hastily to get it done right. Wrong. It is a Zen practice to do things in a peaceful state of mind, for clarity. The worst thing to do in an emergency is to have an urgent mind! It’s just adding fuel to the fire! You need to balance the situation out with a calm energy to do what is needed in that moment and to do it right. Because doing it fast doesn’t mean you are doing it right. It could lead to more calamity, resulting repetition which equals time wasted! Tailors have a brilliant saying: “Measure twice, cut once.” Long story short: “If you don’t have time to do it right, will you have time to do it over?”* hmmm?
Time and the flow of it comes with much. We have time, but we don’t, again a thread of the never ending paradoxes of life. All I know is this: Time is given to us. And we should also give ourselves to time, the present time. Because actually, life doesn’t give you time if you don’t value time.